The Return...

Last month I was sad that David had to leave. But selfishly, my primary concern was the fact that I was going to have to take care of everything here by myself. I was going to have to take out the trash, clean the litter, wash those particularly hard-to-clean pans, scrub the shower, put away laundry. No one was going to come home in the evening to play with Steve while I made dinner. And sure, a couple days after David left, I looked at the trashcan that needed emptied and the pan that had been "soaking" on the stove and realized that they probably couldn't wait the four weeks until he got home. But for the most part, it was fine. Since I didn't expect him home in the evenings, I wasn't (most of the time) panicked and frustrated that evening wasn't coming soon enough. Steve and I had fun. We went to the park. We ate dessert first. We cuddled. In the evenings after he went to bed, I watched four and half seasons of "How I Met Your Mother" (am I cooler now that I've seen it or less cool because I'm admitting I hadn't seen it until now?).

David's been home for a grand total of 10.5 hours, and I've already gotten needier. I couldn't make the ice cream without David holding Steve. I couldn't get the cake together for church tomorrow without David taking Steve outside to play. I whined. A lot. Perhaps I'm demonstrating gratitude and relief that he is home, but I think I should find a more appealing way to do that. When I apologized this evening, David told me he expected it (predictable much?), and he's mentioned in the past that he likes that I let myself need him. Although it is right to be vulnerable in the presence of those God has put in our lives, it is not right to demand of them. We are told to share of ourselves by sharing our burdens with those around us, but we cannot have expectations of them. We must need others but be perfectly completed in Christ. Ultimately, our need for community and relationship is actually a desire for the sanctification of another. We need relationships because we need to reflect Christ to others and have others reflect Him to us, and we do that by revealing our shared need for a Savior.

-L

'Twas the Night Before... and homemade cheese

David leaves tomorrow for an away rotation in Pennsylvania, so the little man and I will be on our own for a month. I use that term loosely, because when I found out David would be gone (over my Spring Break no less!), I thought it would be fun to schedule a couple events and trips to distract us. Apparently I think four weeks is longer than it actually is, because I think Steve and I are going to be gone almost as much as David.

So what am I doing the night before David leaves? Making cheese. I should say that we got a babysitter and went to dinner earlier in the evening. But I have a clamshell of spinach languishing in the fridge that I was supposed to use for dip. But in order to make the dip I had to make the ricotta. But I forgot I was out of cheesecloth. Welcome to my life. David picked some cheesecloth up right before we left for dinner, so now I can rescue the spinach.

I love making ricotta or paneer. It's like... rediculously easy... and I feel so accomplished. I feel like I belong in a Laura Ingalls Wilder book, lugging heavy buckets of milk from the barn before hand churning it for hours... I guess that's butter. Oh well. It's also not important that I bought my milk, and I'm writing and watching Law & Order while my stove does most of the work.

You should make ricotta too, so you can share my pioneer girl feeling of accomplishment.

Homemade Ricotta
Adapted from My New Roots and Gluten-Free Girl and the Chef
Makes about 1 cup cheese

4 C Milk (non-homogenized, pasture fed is best; I used raw cows milk this time, but I've made it with store-bought whole milk before as well)
1 t salt
3 T fresh lemon juice

Heat milk and salt in nonreactive pot until just before boiling. Remove from heat. Add lemon juice. Stir. You should see the milk separate into solids (curds) and a greenish liquid (whey) almost immediately. If you don't, add small amounts of lemon juice until you do. Stir gently in a way that gathers the curds. Let sit for 5 minutes. Then pour the mixture through a strainer lined with a cheesecloth. If you like, put a bowl underneath to gather the whey. Use it in place of water when baking or cooking. Rinse the curds to get rid of any lemon flavor, then tie the cheesecloth to your faucet and let the cheese drain for 45 min-1 hr or until it reaches your desired consistency.

You have just made cheese. And so have I. Now I'm off to see if there's something I'm supposed to have been doing for the last thirty minutes.

-L