Last month I was sad that David had to leave. But selfishly, my primary concern was the fact that I was going to have to take care of everything here by myself. I was going to have to take out the trash, clean the litter, wash those particularly hard-to-clean pans, scrub the shower, put away laundry. No one was going to come home in the evening to play with Steve while I made dinner. And sure, a couple days after David left, I looked at the trashcan that needed emptied and the pan that had been "soaking" on the stove and realized that they probably couldn't wait the four weeks until he got home. But for the most part, it was fine. Since I didn't expect him home in the evenings, I wasn't (most of the time) panicked and frustrated that evening wasn't coming soon enough. Steve and I had fun. We went to the park. We ate dessert first. We cuddled. In the evenings after he went to bed, I watched four and half seasons of "How I Met Your Mother" (am I cooler now that I've seen it or less cool because I'm admitting I hadn't seen it until now?).
David's been home for a grand total of 10.5 hours, and I've already gotten needier. I couldn't make the ice cream without David holding Steve. I couldn't get the cake together for church tomorrow without David taking Steve outside to play. I whined. A lot. Perhaps I'm demonstrating gratitude and relief that he is home, but I think I should find a more appealing way to do that. When I apologized this evening, David told me he expected it (predictable much?), and he's mentioned in the past that he likes that I let myself need him. Although it is right to be vulnerable in the presence of those God has put in our lives, it is not right to demand of them. We are told to share of ourselves by sharing our burdens with those around us, but we cannot have expectations of them. We must need others but be perfectly completed in Christ. Ultimately, our need for community and relationship is actually a desire for the sanctification of another. We need relationships because we need to reflect Christ to others and have others reflect Him to us, and we do that by revealing our shared need for a Savior.
-L
